About three weeks ago, our dog Roxie came through the doggie door with a bloody nose. With the urgency of a first-time parent, my daughter (Roxie’s human mom) scooped her up and off to the vet we went. The diagnosis: snake bite. Fortunately, not poisonous, but still … yikes!
Once we were sure Roxie was fine, we were on the lookout for the offender. No sign of the sneaky serpent until the day I was late for an appointment and running out the back door through the garage. There he was, mocking me, curled up next to the black garden hose.
You can’t exactly leave the house with a snake in the garage, so I grabbed a leaf rake. This was a relocation mission, not a battle to the death, but the snake had other plans—slithering behind storage racks, under the car, and back again. Eventually, I think it’s fair to say, he got tired of me and left on his own accord. I’m claiming it as a win!
I’ve always seen myself as confident, capable, independent, and practical as I was raised by a dad who believed daughters should know how to change a tire and manage a snake. But moments like these remind me of a quieter truth: when you’re the only adult in the house, everything falls on your shoulders. It’s not that you can’t do it all, it’s that you must.
Who’s going to hold the ladder when the smoke detector chirps at 4 a.m.?
Who’s going to drive you home after your colonoscopy?
Who’s going to help you chase the snake?
These aren’t just tasks. They are symbols of the invisible weight of being alone. Even if a past relationship wasn’t what you needed or deserved, the absence of a partner can sneak up on you in unexpected ways.
And in those moments, a question creeps in: Am I really all alone in this? Here’s what I’ve learned.
Grow: Learn the things you never had to do alone before. You can mow the lawn, take a solo trip, negotiate the car purchase. Be curious. Be scrappy. Be brave.
Ask for Help: Even when it feels hard. That friend who says, “Let me know if you need anything.” Let them know. You don’t lose strength by leaning on others. You don’t lose independence by asking for a hand. You’re not weaker for needing community. You’re human.
Because the hardest part isn’t chasing a snake around the garage, it’s standing alone in your kitchen at night trying to believe you’re enough. But when you grow and ask, it stretches your skills, softens your pride, and you begin to build a life that rests on you … and you ARE enough!
Ansle Hudson is a graduate of the High Conflict Divorce Coach Certification Program and founder of ASH Divorce Coaching, LLC. Contact her at 704-315-9044, [email protected], or visit www.ashdivorcecoaching.com.
